Sunday, June 11, 2017

The Talking Cockroach-A Play In One Act Inspired By Archy and Mehitabel

I first saw an article about cockroaches being tasked to carry things around and act as snoops, and I was reminded of a little trifle I had done back in 2013 on hearing of the demise of one Mullah Omar, as blackhearted and wily a scoundrel as ever walked this earth.

You can read about that here. 

About Mullah Omar and his crew, more can be found here.

The confluence of the two stories seemed to be made to order for my pen.

The Talking Cockroach: A Play in One Act.

The scene is somewhere in Afghanistan. Mullah Omar, while snacking on some lamb chops in his hideout has a vision.

It is a talking cockroach.

Cockroach: Hey Omar. Remember me from the Archy and Mehitabel stories?

Omar: Hamdulillah! (sotto voce) What the fuck is this? I'll have to remind Abdul the cook to check the rye bread for too much ergot. How are you my little friend?

Cockroach: Well, I've been up and down the length and breadth of the land of the Crusaders and I have discovered all their secrets.

Omar: Allahu Akbar! Please come and speak, oh Spiny One.

Cockroach: OK, but you see this backpack? It's a very tiny recorder and the audio output is very weak. No batteries hereabouts and the nearest Walmart is several thousand klicks away. There is a hand crank generator that provides just enough power for you to hear it but I must get very close to your ear.

Omar: Praise G-d! O many legged one, climb right next to my hairy ear and spill your guts.

Cockroach (nestling right behind the Hairy Ear of the Anointed One) Can you hear me OK?

Omar: (Impatiently) Yes. That's fine. Now get on with it before I swat your ass if I can find it amidst all those legs.

Cockroach: kaBOOOOOOOM!