Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Memo to Faisal Shahzad

We're reliably informed hereabouts that the putative Times Square Bomber has struck a blow for common sense and pleaded guilty.

I understand this was something of a surprise to the court and Faisal's lawyers who will now miss their chance to milk the case for all it's worth. Bad luck to them.

What followed was something of a colloquy, I guess the court wanted to nail the guy down on the elements before he got back to his cell and got some more advice and buyer's remorse from the jailhouse bar.

What's missing was the obvious question, so I'll ask it....

Fozzie, what were you thinking? With 2 degrees and some cred not to mention a wife and kids, you could have devoted your life and career to righting whatever wrongs you see, and they were many, and retired heavy with honors and respect.

You had it all within your grasp, the ability to make some real progress and a real improvement in the lives of your countrymen. All of it.

And you traded it all for a basement cell in Florence, Colorado and a buck's worth of grits?

I guess you guys really are as stupid as we think you are.

Perhaps you can ask the people who trained you and sent you for a refund, because they didn't do a very good job. You did inquire about their success ratio, didn't you? Oh. I see.

See, the first law of success in crime is you pull off the score and then you get away clean. Was that left out of the syllabus, or did they know what they were setting you up for, or were they oblivious to it?

There was a fellow like you in our Book.

His name was Esau, and he traded his birthright for a mess of pottage. You should read it-you'll have plenty of time now.

Photo credit EPA.