Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Selkirk Meditates On The Human Condition

The Human Condition: 

Didja ever go into a Walmart Super Center? They're all laid out about the same. You enter into the produce section and if you bear left along between the carrots and the cauliflower you're over by the meat counter and a long alleyway where they have the frozen burritos (El Rey, 12 for two dollars), chubs of really cheap burger meat, etc. Over to your right is/are the canned goods. 

As you head that way there is a murky looking tank with the live lobsters therein. 

So imagine you are a lobster. There you were one day not so long ago, in the gulf of Maine somewhere, swimming, fighting and fornicating with gusto until you walked into The Trap and were hauled to the surface to be Sold Off at the Slave Auction. A whirl of boxes, assembly lines, flaked ice and the roar of jet engines, and that is how you found yourself a few days later in a lobster tank in a Walmart in Des Moines, Iowa-thousands of miles from a salt water ocean and your friends who escaped. So you're thinking about all this, as hard as your dodgy little lobster brain has ever worked and just about when you start to think "OK, I think I got it here, lemme see, couple facts and figures...." down comes Mr. Hands and into the boiling water you go. 

The End.


At 10:22 PM, Anonymous RJB III said...

...well, as it turned out, the hands actually belonged to this chunky fellow named Sluggo...and yes...he is going to be mean....


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