News Flash: Cold Cases Being Cleared All Over Town

It's reported today that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has confessed to the Lindbergh Kidnaping, the disappearance of Judge Crater, is accountable for the rise in the price of petroleum, has been known to cause warts by looking at his picture for more than 30 seconds, singlehandedly was responsible for the death of Buddy Holly, and has provided the answer to the questions that's been bugging philosophers since the dawn of history, viz:

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?